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Things come and go just like birthdays and other occasional days. There is one thing that never goes away, the quarter-life chapter in life. It can be a pivotal and defining chapter but also a destructive one. How? Let me tell you here.
The Quarter Life Crisis
This is one crisis that most of us dread all our lives. It is the time we feel lost or tired for the life we had for the years since we graduated college. Sometimes, it arrives earlier than we expected. It starts when we’re about to finish college and various thoughts haunt us. From where will we be when we graduate to what are we going to do when we actually graduate, these always puzzle us. They leave us exhausted almost every single day just thinking about it.
Yet, how will we every cross this crisis or even survive it?
Last April, I celebrated my 25th birthday. Yes, I’m already 25! A few days after the said day, particularly on the day, my family left for Legazpi, I began questioning myself again. My mind kept wandering around, floating in mid-air if I was still on the right track. I always question myself, is everything still worth doing?
Just before my 25th, I bravely conquered my fear and had myself checked. I have been struggling with some mental health issues and continue juggling the idea of consulting and seeking professional help. Until one day, I realized it’s time. I went to school and checked there if how would I manage to appoint a schedule with the doctor. Luckily, it went well and I had my first psychotherapy. I will talk about it more on a separate blog post. 😉
That Crisis Called Adulting
This is the phase everyone faces when they begin working and earning on their own. It is where people realize that it is too damn hard to earn money and take on financial responsibilities in life. Other than that, it is where people explore their life especially their careers, aspirations, and even their passions.
Some get confused on which job to take. Would it be the one related to your college degree? Or would it be the one that is super close to your heart?
These are just some of the numerous questions that pop into our heads for a number of times. It could be that we question our credibility or even our skills if it’s enough to survive the cruel world beyond school. Sometimes, it could be about dealing with toxic work environments and colleagues. There are just so many what if’s that we could ponder on. But what’s really essential about adulting?
Personally, it is when we learn how to deal with this kind of stuff. We start from somewhere and we crawl our way until we reach our dreams and aspirations. It sounds cliche but it’s true. Right?
I have struggled with this thoughts and sometimes encounter those sleepless nights contemplating on my life. Some may think that it’s a waste of time overthinking but I guess there are those who will disagree with me. There are times I would just lay on the bed, thinking of what would I be and what could I have been. It’s just one of the few steps onto the phase called adulting.
The Quarter Life Mess
The quarter-life that every single one of us goes through, is a mess that we try to clean up. But how can one even figure out how to survive this? I find it impossible to follow the footsteps of the people you admire. The best thing to do is to not let their lives dominate or rule yours. Just admire them and not pattern your life based on the way they had their lives. If you fixate living your life according to theirs, it may not turn out the same way to wanted it to be.
We all go through different messes and different paths where we all face. These challenge us on different levels so we could do the best we can in living our lives.
For now, here are some realizations and questions I’ve been asking myself ever since I’m in my 20s.
The Inevitable Questions and Realizations
There are times that people are not always there to be with you when you need them.
- You have to cope on your own or find other outlets on how to. I do it via writing (this blog), scribbling things (via calligraphy), or even clean or rearrange my whole flat whenever I feel the need for it. Though sometimes, I have a feeling that the cleaning bug that I feel is something related to OCD. (I’m about to find out soon.)
- However, don’t feel bad that they don’t talk to you that much. They are just busy with their own lives and it could primarily be work. You can still message them and vent out. They will just reply when they already have the time or whenever they can.
- There are other ways on how to vent out your feelings still. There apps that could be downloaded to listen to your rants and emotions. A sample of that would be Paralign which is only accessible for iOS users.
When people step into their 20s, it is something very crucial already.
- People usually face another chapter in their lives when they step into their 20s. It happens when we step out of college and begin exploring the world. From job hunting to getting rejected, it is that time that we all face it. We get our hopes up or even get depressed by the results we received but deep down, we still continue doing it.
- It is also in this phase where we question ourselves up to the tiniest detail.
- What are we going to do now?
- Where am I going?
- Is this the right track for me?
- We all have these questions for ourselves and we don’t stop until we find the answer to all of these.
Is everything okay?
- By far, this is one of the hardest questions that people have a hard time answering. Even I have a hard time answering this honestly.
Life is never a race. It’s a journey.
- This is what most of us feel. We feel that just because others are moving upwards or having their own businesses, we are left behind. That’s not always the case. Even if their a few meters ahead, their choices are always different from yours. It doesn’t mean that you should follow theirs just because they are having bits of success in their lives.
- Your life is in your hands and not in theirs. Don’t let their posts on their social accounts affect you especially when it comes to your life choices. Everyone fixes their social media to show how pleasant life could be and sometimes omitting the harsh truth they are currently experiencing.
These are just some of the numerous thoughts that go through my head from time to time. I hope sharing these would help you in your life choices as well.
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So any quarter life crisis that you’ve experienced? 😃