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This is about the quintessential crisis called adulting. Many are struggling on how to survive this. Here are stories from real people with real struggles.
The Quintessential Crisis In Your 20s: #Adulting
Graduating students experience crisis almost every time when they are reminded of graduation. Soon after, it will be graduation and the talks of looking for work is coming.
This is not a crisis that only people living the quarter life encounter. It is a real crisis that some college students feel and/or graduating students. Deciphering life at a young age is a quite a tough job. To be honest, this is not taught in school!
The reason I made this post is to serve as an eyeopener to everyone that not all feel good about #adulting. People have had struggles and still do. Some feel lost in life as they fight their way. While others, live like there’s no tomorrow.
So now, I’ll be sharing stories and experiences by people I know about adulting. It’s real, it’s there, and if you can’t do it on your own, there will be always people who you can talk to about it.
Adulting Story #1
This story has been shared by a friend. She’s Ella*. I know her since we were in elementary. So practically, we almost know each other since almost our whole lives. When we were in college, we kept our lines open for each other.
* ⏤ not her real name.
So, lately we got to talk about life and everything else in the universe. I was asking her about referrals for suppliers. She was more than happy to help! Then I asked her where she was, if she was still in the metro. Wishing we could hang out and talk! But, she shared that she was in the province and the she could not go back here just yet.
Then I asked, is this because of adulting? She responded, yes.
There’s a big gap between reality and expectations given that you have limited resources after graduation.
That’s just the tip of the ice berg. It goes on.
Situation: After Graduation 🎓
Let say after grad.
You’re self-supporting. You’ll be spending all of your savings when you were a lot younger because the basic salary is not enough to cater your basic needs. Your food, shelter and clothing will still cost more than what you are currently earning. Basically, that’s a problem already.
People would sacrifice food just to have shelter and clothing. If you notice, some would even buy the branded ones just because society says so.
Moreover, no one’s out there to support you and your needs, even at work! Most likely, you’ll be selling yourself unlike the more fortunate ones, they still have pretty much everything. They have a house to go to and even a position that they could go after.
You need to earn everything for yourself from scratch.
Letting Go Phase
It’s quite difficult to put into words. Nothing could ever really describe it easily. It will take pretty much every word in the dictionary to do so.
Being out there, in the real world is overwhelming. It’s similar to leaving a pet you’ve nurtured your whole life and release it into the wild. You’ll both end up in tears.
On the contrary, attending school was pretty much breezy. If you need something for a project, it will be given to you by your parents. You are free to consult your professors. Lastly, you have friends that you can go to.
However, after graduation, everything changes. You start to have more responsibilities. Decision making will be present and you’ve got to be more decisive about the choices you make. You win some and you’ll definitely lose some.
You will meet a lot of people that do not have the same heart as you do. Your problems do not anymore have an escape button nor a bypass code. Though it may be tough, but you have to face it one at a time.
Little by little, your goals may not be attainable at the moment. No matter how slow, we need to take steps towards it. If you have to take some more time, then do so. Doing it in haste will lead you to having waste.
There will always be those people who will pull you down. From things such as office politics to those who’ll discourage you, ruin you, and even take credit for your hard work. You have to make smart choices on how to deal about those things.
On many accounts, you’ll see yourself asking this question:
Is this really what I want?
We find ourselves dumbfounded by things that surround us. That is okay. People feel lost There are factors out there that could be toxic to us. Little by little, we will conquer this thing called adulting. After which, life itself! ✨
Survival Tips
Some of the items listed here may not be applicable to you at all. But, do know that this is to guide or help you in some way in conquering adulting.
- Ask yourself a million times if what do you really want to do.
- If no answer comes, list down your goals. After listing them down, try to sort them from the easiest to attain up to the long-term goals.
- If you are a fresh grad or a graduating student who hasn’t figured even a third of it yet, it’s better if you take a gap year or a break. Some may not understand it but it’s really essential to rest or a pause from everything.
- Now, if you have taken some deep thought on it and gathered some idea, you are on the right track!
Again, this may not be applicable to all. But, this aims to help you in any way it can. 😁
If you have stories to share or tips about surviving adulting, feel free to contact me or send an email. 😊
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As a “tita” (haha), I would say that this is normal, and you have given some practical tips. I would advise that you still have a source of steady income as you take a gap year. In any phase of life, you have to have the means. So that is the only thing I’d add to your list.
Adulting. Another term I recently discovered with the millennials of the nation. Haha. Anyway, I remember after graduating, I started working 3 months after. From then on, I promised not to ask for monetary help from my parents anymore since I have my own cash already. Then life happened and me and my sister were supporting our parents because we chose them to stop to work. We became the breadwinner already. Adulting is real, and adulting is hard. Especially if you are in the episode where you just graduated from school.
I think after graduating, think hard if you want to go to work or pursue your masters or another degree while you’re still young. It’s a regret I have now 9 years after college. I should have finished MA first.
Hahaha. I’m 36 years old and I still haven’t figured out this thing called adulting just yet. In fact, I’m devoting my entire blog to it. You’re right, it gets overwhelming. And I can totally relate to how expectations don’t necessarily coincide with reality. Another struggle a friend and I were talking about recently too, is that sometimes, even if you’ve figured out your passion and what you’re meant to do, you also realize that it doesn’t necessarily pay well. My friend, for all intents and purposes, is pretty well-known in his field, but since he chose a creative path, he realised that it wouldn’t necessarily pay for the lifestyle that he got accustomed to. So he had to train for another job, just to pay the bills. He’s doing well for himself now, but it was a hard lesson to learn, because when you’re young, you were made to believe that you follow your dreams everything else will work out. It’s a little bit of a downer, but I guess what I learned from experience, is that a part of adulting is making choices. Sometimes you can’t get everything that you want, and you have to make decisions about which one you want more if that makes sense. So you’re right, before getting into something, you have to think twice or thrice if it’s really something you want to pursue. Because every decision comes with both good and bad consequences. Anyway, sorry for flooding your comments box. I’m obviously very passionate about this topic. Haha. Love your insights as always!
I certainly feel the passion. Now, I wish that there was a course or subject in college that would focus on adulting itself. Thank you! 🙂
I am also at the time of my life where I am worried about being adult. I’m close to thirty in a few years and I seemed to feel like I am still young, where people will be there to help me or catch me when I fall. I’ve had a few failures because of some unattainable “career choices” that I thought I am ‘adult’ enough for. But life must go on. 🙂
Ah! That section about after graduation and expectations and stuff was all too real for me! I wrote something about it on my Medium, but it’s more or less the same idea. At 25, I’m STILL trying to get a hang of this “adulting” thing and I’m far from there. Currently having problems with saving, but I guess a lot of people are facing the same sitch. Sigh.
I hope I get to read what you wrote on Medium too. Sometimes, I wish that schools literally made a crash course about adulting so we would not feel so lost after graduating. Right?
Even take credit for your hard work, hahaha sounds familiar, it’s the main reason why u resigned to the corporate world, I’m used to working hard even if I’m on school because I’m the bread winner of the family, it’s a bit tough right after graduation but facing it with confidence makes it a bit easier always remember that your family is your back up,
Even take credit for your hard work, hahaha sounds familiar, it’s the main reason why I resigned to the corporate world, I’m used to working hard even if I’m on school because I’m the bread winner of the family, it’s a bit tough right after graduation but facing it with confidence makes it a bit easier always remember that your family is your back up,
I’m 24 and I still find adulting pretty difficult to handle. Why? Because there are a million different things I would love to do and finish, but because of responsibilities… well.. no can do. Priorities take a different route. Before it’s just you. But once #Adulting stage is there, you have family to think of. Whether your parents and siblings or your own kid.
Love this post cause I’m sure it can help a lot of those feeling lost get some things on track. <3
Thanks for this, at least for trying to help out. It’s been 6 years since I graduated, but I still feel lost. I am a registered nurse but fell in love with the BPO industry. There’s a person in me that’s wanting to go and work in a hospital. Then there’s the other person that says stay where I am now. I am actually torn between the two ideas, and I am still waiting for that what they call “leap of faith”.
I have read a lot of #adulting posts and I think I should be writing one too. I appreciate the practical lessons and tips you shared. I believe at some point we all go through this.
I relate a lot to this because I did feel lost when I’ve graduated. It was like: Okay, so now what? Haha. I did pursue my dream career and I was blessed to find a job doing what I love. I’ve recently gone through a big transition where I’m now working full time freelance so this is another big step for me. But I completely agree with you, you need to think about what is it that you really want.
The title alone made me cringe. But yeah, welcome to the real world. And I think all of us, at some point, were or still are in a crossroad and figuring out which way to go. I guess trying out each road wouldn’t hurt because you can always make a U-turn. The most important thing is you are contented with your choice and don’t mind what the society thinks, it’s your life anyway. I’m saying this not because I surpassed the crossroad already, but I choose to be positive and create my own reality.
Adulting is hard! But I guess I can count myself lucky because my parents live with me. The cost of living is split so I’m not left totally broke each time since I’m the one paying for our house and internet connection, plus my own postpaid mobile. I dunno, but despite the respite (love the rhyme), I feel like that makes me kinda weak since I’m not totally self-supporting, you know? But it’s not really something I can just up and change, so that’ll be my version of adulting for now.
Sometimes, we have to take it slow. Though sometimes, it could a proud moment of really being on your own. It’s like an achievement unlocked in real life. Haha! Men, I wish “rosebud” existed in real life!
Your post made me reminisced my post graduate years. I remember having those thoughts too. Fortunately, before graduation I had a part-time stint as disc jockey in one of the FM stations in our province. The transition was not so hard because I was earning already. Adulting was not so difficult but being an adult is much harder especially now that I am a mother of a 20 year-old graduating son. I wish I can be able to help him get through this phase
I agree that students who are graduating and who already graduated can feel this kind of pressure or stress about going through a life transition. But, I think you just have to muster the courage to “just do it.” I worked right after graduation. Actually, I got job offers even before I graduated. I was excited to taste this new life of being a working professional. There were exciting times and dreary time. But, it was fun as a whole! Don’t let your fears paralyze you!
Perhaps everyone goes to the process of adulting. And it is up to us how to survive. What is important though are the lessons learned in the process, just make sure that We keep our integrity and values intact.
Im very much of an adult now, I may say, and sometimes as I look back, I would smile or laugh at what I did before.
I’ve met someone who took a gap year before going proceeding with his studies. He was well off but still worked and exposed himself to the reality of life. I couldn’t seem to understand it before but I realized that it’s an essential part of getting to know one’s self deeper. He pursued his studies knowing what he wanted. Thus, he excelled. I’m sure he’s adulting quite successfully now. Anyway, this is a good post for those who can’t seem to figure out adulting. No one is alone.
I believe that you CAN follow your passions, IF you have a solid income stream in place. Let’s face it: Money is what makes things possible for us to do the things that make us happy. It’s a tool. So to add to what I’ve said in a previous comment, “adulting” is a process that will take you deeper into yourself with each experience you allow yourself to fully embrace. I find it is sound advice to tell young people to CREATE their future, by learning right away the path to financial freedom. Honestly, THAT takes adulting and a whooole lot of it. Perhaps before thinking about passion, think about being financially free.
I guess everyone go through this stage. We don’t know what someone is going through but at the back of their minds, there is something going on. Being a millenial and on my early 20s at this generation, it feels like everything is hard to grasp. We’re always torn on what we like to do and what we need to do. Let’s just say that “following your dreams” is not easy as it seems.
This post makes me reminisce my days after college and an eyeopener for the challenges that this generation have to face now. It gives me the idea that the earlier you embrace adulting, the more you’ll cope with it. Doing the hustle early on is a must regardless of economic status to support yourself aside from knowing yourself deeper. The weight may vary depending on how financially capable you can be but for most of us who have to work so we can pay the bills, it’s a must. Embracing that reality will help you breeze thru this phase in life and I hope you’ll find clarity on your path soon.
There’s this one thing that gets you #adulting real fast no matter how old you are. It’s called having a kid. It’s really freaking tough and it has to happen fast. I thankfully started working when I was 15 and still in High School so I knew at least a little bit about getting a job etc. Adulting sucks jajaja I am 38 and still wish I was daughter rather than mother all the time.
I believe a lot of us experienced this. After graduation I didn’t pursue any career yet and enjoyed the time I have. Joining reality, paying for your own needs, is hard at first and I experienced earning without saving anything. At times I got discouraged but eventually I got to work and have the career I wanted.
#Adulting is real, almost in every stage of my life. I don’t know. Maybe because I am the eldest and I am the breadwinner and so I have to always step up haha. I love all your realisations here. I think at the end of the day, the most important thing is to always pursue what we want no matter what, because our goals will define our track.
Truly, adulting is hard.haha! But I’m sire every millenial can survive with flying colors if you have the will to do so. I remember flying to Cebu while waiting for my board exam results with only 2k on me. I just want to start living without the help of my parents. Crazy I know, but I was able to survive and have a life I can can stable. I know you can too. 🙂
Hashtag adulting, one of my struggles right now. I am really having a hard time adjusting to my age or the expected maturity for my age! I think I didn’t get ready for this phase of my life, which is why I am having difficulties. I honestly don’t even know what I would really want to do when I graduate. I guess I should fix this and myself as soon as possible! This post of yours is very timely <3
This is so recognizable! It’s so hard to be an adult all of a sudden. There are so many expectations! Part of all that is great. You have so much more freedom. No parents that tell you what to do. The other part is just terrifying. So much to do. So much to arrange. I love your survival tips. I always try to wonder: Am I happy now? And try not to postpone things I want to do. And not care too much about what everyone thinks you should be. Just be yourself!
I guess everyone will go through this phase. Although you always need to remember and believe that you will push through every struggle. It can be difficult in the start but it will always get better. I started as well from scratch, didn’t took a gap year and started working right after graduation, that was when I was waiting for my board exam results. It can be a job mismatch from a licensed burse to a Quality analyst but during the years that you still contemplate where you’re going, you get to realize what you really want. Carry on and for sure, it will always get better. 🙂