The Quintessential Crisis Called #Adulting

May 14, 2017

20s Crisis: #Adulting

This is about the quintessential crisis called adulting. Many are struggling on how to survive this. Here are stories from real people with real struggles.

The Quintessential Crisis In Your 20s: #Adulting

Graduating students experience crisis almost every time when they are reminded of graduation. Soon after, it will be graduation and the talks of looking for work is coming.

This is not a crisis that only people living the quarter life encounter. It is a real crisis that some college students feel and/or graduating students. Deciphering life at a young age is a quite a tough job. To be honest, this is not taught in school!

The reason I made this post is to serve as an eyeopener to everyone that not all feel good about #adulting. People have had struggles and still do. Some feel lost in life as they fight their way. While others, live like there’s no tomorrow.

So now, I’ll be sharing stories and experiences by people I know about adulting. It’s real, it’s there, and if you can’t do it on your own, there will be always people who you can talk to about it.

Adulting Story #1

This story has been shared by a friend. She’s Ella*. I know her since we were in elementary. So practically, we almost know each other since almost our whole lives. When we were in college, we kept our lines open for each other.

* ⏤ not her real name. 

So, lately we got to talk about life and everything else in the universe. I was asking her about referrals for suppliers. She was more than happy to help! Then I asked her where she was, if she was still in the metro. Wishing we could hang out and talk! But, she shared that she was in the province and the she could not go back here just yet.

Then I asked, is this because of adulting? She responded, yes.

There’s a big gap between reality and expectations given that you have limited resources after graduation.

That’s just the tip of the ice berg. It goes on.

Situation: After Graduation 🎓

Let say after grad.

You’re self-supporting. You’ll be spending all of your savings when you were a lot younger because the basic salary is not enough to cater your basic needs. Your food, shelter and clothing will still cost more than what you are currently earning. Basically, that’s a problem already.

People would sacrifice food just to have shelter and clothing. If you notice, some would even buy the branded ones just because society says so.

Moreover, no one’s out there to support you and your needs, even at work! Most likely, you’ll be selling yourself unlike the more fortunate ones, they still have pretty much everything. They have a house to go to and even a position that they could go after.

You need to earn everything for yourself from scratch.

Letting Go Phase

It’s quite difficult to put into words. Nothing could ever really describe it easily. It will take pretty much every word in the dictionary to do so.

Being out there, in the real world is overwhelming. It’s similar to leaving a pet you’ve nurtured your whole life and release it into the wild. You’ll both end up in tears.

On the contrary, attending school was pretty much breezy. If you need something for a project, it will be given to you by your parents. You are free to consult your professors. Lastly, you have friends that you can go to.

However, after graduation, everything changes. You start to have more responsibilities. Decision making will be present and you’ve got to be more decisive about the choices you make. You win some and you’ll definitely lose some.

You will meet a lot of people that do not have the same heart as you do. Your problems do not anymore have an escape button nor a bypass code. Though it may be tough, but you have to face it one at a time.

Little by little, your goals may not be attainable at the moment. No matter how slow, we need to take steps towards it. If you have to take some more time, then do so. Doing it in haste will lead you to having waste.

There will always be those people who will pull you down. From things such as office politics to those who’ll discourage you, ruin you, and even take credit for your hard work. You have to make smart choices on how to deal about those things.

On many accounts, you’ll see yourself asking this question:

Is this really what I want?

We find ourselves dumbfounded by things that surround us. That is okay. People feel lost There are factors out there that could be toxic to us. Little by little, we will conquer this thing called adulting. After which, life itself! ✨

Survival Tips

Some of the items listed here may not be applicable to you at all. But, do know that this is to guide or help you in some way in conquering adulting.

  • Ask yourself a million times if what do you really want to do.
  • If no answer comes, list down your goals. After listing them down, try to sort them from the easiest to attain up to the long-term goals.
  • If you are a fresh grad or a graduating student who hasn’t figured even a third of it yet, it’s better if you take a gap year or a break. Some may not understand it but it’s really essential to rest or a pause from everything.
  • Now, if you have taken some deep thought on it and gathered some idea, you are on the right track!

Again, this may not be applicable to all. But, this aims to help you in any way it can. 😁

If you have stories to share or tips about surviving adulting, feel free to contact me or send an email😊

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  • Reply Martine May 15, 2017 at 9:46 pm

    As a “tita” (haha), I would say that this is normal, and you have given some practical tips. I would advise that you still have a source of steady income as you take a gap year. In any phase of life, you have to have the means. So that is the only thing I’d add to your list.

  • Reply theresa May 16, 2017 at 11:45 am

    Adulting. Another term I recently discovered with the millennials of the nation. Haha. Anyway, I remember after graduating, I started working 3 months after. From then on, I promised not to ask for monetary help from my parents anymore since I have my own cash already. Then life happened and me and my sister were supporting our parents because we chose them to stop to work. We became the breadwinner already. Adulting is real, and adulting is hard. Especially if you are in the episode where you just graduated from school.

    I think after graduating, think hard if you want to go to work or pursue your masters or another degree while you’re still young. It’s a regret I have now 9 years after college. I should have finished MA first.

  • Reply Pia Villamor May 16, 2017 at 12:12 pm

    Hahaha. I’m 36 years old and I still haven’t figured out this thing called adulting just yet. In fact, I’m devoting my entire blog to it. You’re right, it gets overwhelming. And I can totally relate to how expectations don’t necessarily coincide with reality. Another struggle a friend and I were talking about recently too, is that sometimes, even if you’ve figured out your passion and what you’re meant to do, you also realize that it doesn’t necessarily pay well. My friend, for all intents and purposes, is pretty well-known in his field, but since he chose a creative path, he realised that it wouldn’t necessarily pay for the lifestyle that he got accustomed to. So he had to train for another job, just to pay the bills. He’s doing well for himself now, but it was a hard lesson to learn, because when you’re young, you were made to believe that you follow your dreams everything else will work out. It’s a little bit of a downer, but I guess what I learned from experience, is that a part of adulting is making choices. Sometimes you can’t get everything that you want, and you have to make decisions about which one you want more if that makes sense. So you’re right, before getting into something, you have to think twice or thrice if it’s really something you want to pursue. Because every decision comes with both good and bad consequences. Anyway, sorry for flooding your comments box. I’m obviously very passionate about this topic. Haha. Love your insights as always!

    • Reply Maria May 16, 2017 at 4:00 pm

      I certainly feel the passion. Now, I wish that there was a course or subject in college that would focus on adulting itself. Thank you! 🙂

  • Reply Elle May 16, 2017 at 2:31 pm

    I am also at the time of my life where I am worried about being adult. I’m close to thirty in a few years and I seemed to feel like I am still young, where people will be there to help me or catch me when I fall. I’ve had a few failures because of some unattainable “career choices” that I thought I am ‘adult’ enough for. But life must go on. 🙂

  • Reply Olivia May 16, 2017 at 6:26 pm

    Ah! That section about after graduation and expectations and stuff was all too real for me! I wrote something about it on my Medium, but it’s more or less the same idea. At 25, I’m STILL trying to get a hang of this “adulting” thing and I’m far from there. Currently having problems with saving, but I guess a lot of people are facing the same sitch. Sigh.

    • Reply Maria May 16, 2017 at 7:15 pm

      I hope I get to read what you wrote on Medium too. Sometimes, I wish that schools literally made a crash course about adulting so we would not feel so lost after graduating. Right?

  • Reply Cykaniki May 17, 2017 at 12:59 am

    Even take credit for your hard work, hahaha sounds familiar, it’s the main reason why u resigned to the corporate world, I’m used to working hard even if I’m on school because I’m the bread winner of the family, it’s a bit tough right after graduation but facing it with confidence makes it a bit easier always remember that your family is your back up,

  • Reply Cykaniki May 17, 2017 at 1:00 am

    Even take credit for your hard work, hahaha sounds familiar, it’s the main reason why I resigned to the corporate world, I’m used to working hard even if I’m on school because I’m the bread winner of the family, it’s a bit tough right after graduation but facing it with confidence makes it a bit easier always remember that your family is your back up,

  • Reply Nicole P. May 18, 2017 at 7:33 am

    I’m 24 and I still find adulting pretty difficult to handle. Why? Because there are a million different things I would love to do and finish, but because of responsibilities… well.. no can do. Priorities take a different route. Before it’s just you. But once #Adulting stage is there, you have family to think of. Whether your parents and siblings or your own kid.

    Love this post cause I’m sure it can help a lot of those feeling lost get some things on track. <3

  • Reply Jill May 21, 2017 at 10:29 pm

    Thanks for this, at least for trying to help out. It’s been 6 years since I graduated, but I still feel lost. I am a registered nurse but fell in love with the BPO industry. There’s a person in me that’s wanting to go and work in a hospital. Then there’s the other person that says stay where I am now. I am actually torn between the two ideas, and I am still waiting for that what they call “leap of faith”.

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